Down But Not Out

I am worn out. For the first time ever, I actually feel defeated. I am a royal pain in the butt, I never let anyone or anything beat me. But now, I am done. I am tired, just plain tired. That does concern me a bit, I am not really that type of person. Truthfully, I am more of a bitchy, aggressive type. Maybe it's all this snow we've been having. Or the eight snow days my kids have had in less than a month! (I LOVE my kids, but EIGHT snow days in Missouri in less than four weeks does not happen here! MAYBE eight in a winter!) And there was Martin Luther King Day in there, too, just to bond some more!

My day started with the insurance company. What could be more fun? Why can't they just pay their part of the bill? Why do I have to call them three times and listen to that lovely woman who provides the voice for their automated voice response system tell me over and over that she can't understand my response? I am from Missouri- the part that doesn't have an accent - and was calling Massachusetts. My response was "ONE!", how can she not understand that? By the fourth time I had to repeat myself, the whole state of Massachusetts understood my response. Give me a break!

Then on to the State of Missouri. Yippee! This got even better than I dreamed. This was supposed to be taken care of before January 1st. But for some reason, Alex's case manager can't get Alex's therapies organized. Alex has had the exact same therapy program since he was three years old. I write it, hand it to the case manager. The last ten case managers signed of on it, turned it in, therapists came, all is well. Why is this one different?

And to top it off, we have school... yes, school. Every one with a special needs child loves school. You remember Mrs. Teacher and Mr. Principal from Middle School? Oh, how we love them! I wrote often about how great they were, and I knew they'd be hard to top, (actually impossible) but jeez. All I want is some one to help Alex learn to read and function as an adult. I know this is shocking to many people, but we don't send Alex to school for daycare. He has potential. Lots of it! Dad and I are doing our part, so is Twin Sis, so are Alex's friends. Why can't the school? Kind of backwards don't you think?

I think my problem is that I don't think I should have to be dealing with any of these things. I pay the insurance company to take care of their part. My claim is not even questionable, just follow the rules (that they wrote) and be done with it! The case manager is just, well, I am not sure what is going on with him, but he best get his act together soon! It's his job to organize Alex's therapies, I have already done the hard part of his job for him, he just needs to turn in the paperwork. And as far as the school, isn't it their job to educate students? Why am I having to fight tooth and nail to get these people to just do their jobs?

I expect my insurance company to pay my claims according to my policy. I expect Alex's caseworker to handle Alex's therapies in a professional and timely manner. I expect a teacher to teach.

What is wrong with me?? Don't these people know I have better things to do with my family? And why is it that they can't do their jobs without my assistance? I'm a little ticked off too, they're getting paid to do these jobs that they're not doing! I could use that money, and I'm the one doing the job! Again, what's wrong with this picture?

I do, however, have this feeling that in a couple of days, I'll be ready to take them all on again! That's who I am, I am just on a little break. I wish my break was on a beach though!

Look out, here I come! .... just not bronzed!